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Jessica Simpson and her fat pants

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Jessica Simpson

The most disturbing news to come out of Blubbergate — in which singer, reality star and Tony Romo gal pal Jessica Simpson apparently gained 10 pounds and set the weight-obsessed tabloids in a front-page frenzy not seen since Britney Spears shaved her head...

The most disturbing news to come out of Blubbergate — in which singer, reality star and Tony Romo gal pal Jessica Simpson apparently gained 10 pounds and set the weight-obsessed tabloids in a front-page frenzy not seen since Britney Spears shaved her head — is that her ever-helpful stage mother, perhaps sensing this latest faux pas may well be more career-destroying than her daughter’s much ridiculed and highly entertaining confusion over Chicken of the Sea and buffalo wings, ordered her beautiful bulging baby, her little roly-poly-oly, five new pairs of jeans.

Apparently, the new $118 Level 99 jeans have a magical built-in slimming component that will do a better job of hiding Simpson’s newly acquired curves than did those now infamous high-waisted, patch-pocket Grey Ant jeans in which la Simpson was photographed Jan. 25 singing These Boots Are Made For Walkin’ at a Florida radio station’s Country Chili Cookoff, a snapshot that set off the latest version of fame-bashing known as celebrity body bullying.

The 28-year-old Texan-born belle, who makes no bones about her affinity for fried chicken and carbolicious Southern fare, for Double Stuf Oreos and pizza, for ice cream and Cracker Barrel, has long been in the spotlight for her weight, which has yo-yo’d from her early years as a slim teenage pop star to her physical blossoming as a bride (her ex is former boy bander Nick Lachey) to her Dukes of Hazzard car-washing bikini bod to her now fat and happy days with her hunky Dallas Cowboys beau.

To Simpson’s credit, she makes no apologies for her ample-by-Hollywood-standards proportions, which, by the looks of her might be all of a size 12, saying in this week’s People magazine cover story that while she is “sad” and “hurt” by the critical mass hysteria, she’s also proud of her curves and her healthy appetite, which she contributes to being “happy and in love.”

The current cultural fixation with thin is nothing new, of course, and you only have to ask celebs like Tyra Banks, Cheryl Burke and Jennifer Love Hewitt — three  recent combatants in the great weight debate — to understand how ridiculous a societal obsession it is, leading to dangerous weight loss methods and an insidious and skewed view of body image, especially for young women.

All this fuss over boobs and booty reminds one of another famous and unapologetic curvy blonde.
That would be Marilyn Monroe, the cultural icon considered by many to be the sexiest woman of all time.
Though it’s long been up for debate, she was said to wear a size 12 dress, in order to accommodate her rather abundant and much-admired bosom and derriere.

Whatever her size, whatever her weight and measurements, Marilyn Monroe was certainly no skinny minny.
Funny how no one was busting her chops.
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